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1. |
Spring
01:24
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2. |
Practical Effects
04:14
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Strung out on therapy, junk food, and thc
Sitting here wishing you were too
So I could peel off your skin
And see the things that crawl within
Just so I’d have something else to do
Hot and red inside my head
Bleeding out and playing dead
Ripping skin and sifting through the goo
Burning up and burning out
Famine, pestilence, and drought
Dancing with insanity with you
Let’s tear each other up
Let’s break each other down
A pair of tawdry jesters passing back and forth the crown
Let’s laugh and scream and sing and roar
A dialectic metaphor
To show us what we’re living for
So cut me up and do it with a smile
Who needs a knife when you have nails
Crocheting blankets from entrails
And cuddling up beneath them next to you
Fingers running through your hair
Pretending that I really care
And trying to convince myself I do
I’m ready for another round
These broken bodies breaking down
Butchered, braised, and boiling in a stew
Until there’s nothing left but ash
We’ll scrape ourselves into the trash
So I can rot and putrefy with you
Let’s fuck each other up
Let’s burn each other down
As the smoke begins to suffocate
And blood begins to pound
Let’s laugh and scream and sing and roar
Swimming through the guts and gore
Drowning but still wanting more
So eat me up and do it with a smile
My teeth are rotting from my mouth
From gnawing on my pain and doubt
I’ve lost the will to speak, and I can’t chew
Cause I’m so fucking lonely
And I don’t know what to do
Existence is a prison but I’ll share a cell with you
This body that betrayed me
Is screaming for release
If I give in to its demands, then maybe I’ll find peace
The will to live is fleeting
And I know that yours is too
But we can rip ourselves apart and build ourselves anew
Let’s lift each other up
As we burn it to the ground
As the smoke begins to suffocate
Our blood begins to pound
Let’s laugh and scream and sing and roar
Collapsing on a bathroom floor
We’ll push till we can’t anymore
We might be dead but we’ll be back
We might be dead but we’ll be back
We might be dead but we’ll be back after a while
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3. |
Summer Song
02:41
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Well I wake up every fucking morning and
Go to work and hold the fort again
Didn’t ever think
That I was meant for something more
Life’s a bitch and then you die and it
Doesn’t help to fucking cry well I
Guess it helps a bit
But you gotta be realistic
I don’t want to die
But I don’t much like being alive
And see these choices set in front of me
They really boil down to do or die
I blame my problems on somebody else
Run and hide and cry but nothing helps
To fill up the void
Or at least it hasn’t yet
Restless, writhing, thrashing energy
Bubbling up from deep inside of
I ask for time alone
And this is what I get
Finally I can say
That I don’t need no one to make me okay
And it makes me kinda happy
But it’s pretty fucking lonely here today
I’ll try my best to lose some weight again
Don’t feel bad for what I ate again
Try to write some songs
And don’t be scared to cry
Life’s a journey one step at a time
I refuse to feel bad if I
Stumbled once or twice
Without ever knowing why
Finally I can say
That I don’t need no one to make me okay
And that makes me kinda happy
But it’s pretty fucking lonely here today
Finally I can say
That I’m kinda sorta doing okay
And I owe it all to everybody
Kind enough to help along the way
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4. |
Impostor Syndrome
03:16
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Sometimes I don’t think that I’m
Good enough for anybody
But I don’t have to listen to myself give me that shit
Cause I’m a fucking joy to be around
And when that voice tells me get down
I just have to stand and strong
And shout that fucker down
I am smart, I am pretty I am talented I’m tough
I am quick, I am witty, and I’m really good enough
I work hard, I am loyal, and I’ve got a lot of love
I am smart, I am pretty and I’m really good enough.
When people say they like my music
Sometimes I can’t believe it
But if I think objectively, why would my friends and family
All lie to me unless they see
That I need validation to not be so depressed
But then I realize that’s stupid
Sure, not everyone likes my music
But the ones who do they really mean it
Because maybe they’re just like me
And maybe they can see a piece of them
Reflecting back in me
So if you’re scared to be
A failure just like me
Then stand up tall and raise your voice and sing
I am smart, I am pretty, I am talented I’m tough
I am quick, I am witty and I’m really good enough
I work hard, I am loyal, and I’ve got a lot of love
I am smart, I am pretty, and I’m fucking good enough
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5. |
Human Condition
02:50
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If I was a bird I’d fly to somewhere
People could not hurt me anymore
I’d stick around for a month or two
And then be on my way
Cause sometimes people can be too much
They suck the life right out of me
And if I was a bird, then I’d be free
If I was a bird, then I’d be free
If I was just a piece of gum
Melting on a sidewalk
I’d stick to people here and there
And maybe they’d forget to wipe me off
I’d gather dust and dirt
I’d slowly rot away
And then one day I’d just fall off and die
One day I would just fall off and die
If I was a bullet in a shell
I think I’d probably hate myself
Cause I’d know my only job is to destroy
I’d try to scream and shout
To keep me in the chamber
But when the gun goes off
The only way is out
Cause when a bomb goes off behind you
The only way is out
If i was just a human being
Living on this earth
I’d probably think what people think of me
Would determine what I’m worth
I think I’d rather be
A tiny speck of dirt
Cause dirt gets walked on all day long
And never seems to get its feelings hurt
Oh what I’d give to never get my feelings hurt
Maybe I should just give up
And be a bird
Maybe I should just give up and be a bird
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6. |
Punchline
03:14
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It’s getting pretty late I should probably go to bed
But I can’t sleep and I can’t dream
I can’t stop thinking about the things I said
And how even if I got just what I want,
Well I’d probably fuck it up
And I’ve been thinking a lot lately about who I wanna be
The person that I am, and the person that I want the world to see
The person in the mirror is me, and she’s who I need to know
So let’s go find out who we really are
We’ll run away so far and we’re never looking back
Let’s go see if failure is an art
It’s tearing me apart but man I
Really need to be alone right now
The worst things in life are usually free
They creep up from the back of your mind
And they scream and scream and scream
That you don’t deserve to be free
And that they’ll never go away
And sometimes I’m inclined to
Believe that they are right
Cause I’ve been hearing screaming
Since I was at least five
And now I’m twenty six and I wish
That they’d just leave me alone
But when I find out who I really am
I’m hoping that it can and it doesn’t take too long
I can prove that failure is an art
I don’t know where to start but please just
Don’t leave me all alone right now
Cause I need affection and I need attention
And I need direction, and I need to question
The voices that tell me to be bitter and angry
I’d say they don’t know me, but they really do
They’ll never stop trying and I’ll never stop fighting
But I think I’m dying, I’m already dead
And at this point it’s all just one big fucking joke
And I wish I could tell you the punchline but this is the truth instead
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7. |
Autumn
01:47
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All is not lost
We'll move on
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8. |
Winter Song
03:18
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Snowflakes fall so slowly to the ground
Floating like a curtain all around
Cars go screaming down the street below
Headlights setting all the night aglow
Turning twenty five is such a drag
I’m growing up and I can’t take it back
Maybe this time next year I’ll be whole
But if I reach that point, how will I know
A few months later spring is in the air
But no one seems to know, or even care
Cause shit’s been falling all around our heads
And sometimes I envy the dead
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9. |
Home Is Wherever You Are
03:32
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Well a few tanks of gas and the world stood between us
But that couldn’t stop you and me
Hope you know on this journey we’re taking
That home is wherever you are
Oh home is wherever you are
Now you lay there and nap on the bed right beside me
And you say “I love you” in your sleep
Hope you know when you start to awaken
That home is wherever you are
Oh home is wherever you are
You look at the things going on all around us
The world is a mess dear, I know
And although both our back may be aching
Home is wherever you are
Oh home is wherever you are
Well I won’t give an inch to the forces that thwart us
They’ve never done much in the past
But one thing I assure you my darling:
Home is wherever you are
Oh home is wherever you are
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10. |
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It’s funny how I think about the things that worry me
So much more than anything that makes me feel happy
I hate the way I get when I have a million things to do
But I’m too sad to do them so I never follow through
The bills and debts they pile up and they make it hard to breathe
The world comes crashing down on me and I can’t think or see
And every week it seems like I’m running out of steam
Running out of money and running out of dreams
So don’t quit your day job
Cause you’ve got bills to pay
You’ve got rules to follow
And it has to be this way
“Don’t quit your day job”
That’s the thing they always say
But I don’t think I’m built for this
And I don’t wanna stay
I get up every morning and I start the daily grind
Putting in those hours just to keep falling behind
And maybe if I try my best and I keep on working hard
Maybe I can fix my life, or at least just fix my car
And maybe this is all just one big conspiracy
To get us all to sacrifice to feed the corporate greed
And maybe if I ran away and left it all behind
I’d be a better person, but I’d struggle to survive
So don’t quit your day job
Cause you’ve got bills to pay
You’ve got rules to follow
And it has to be this way
“Dont quit your day job”
That’s the thing they always say
But I don’t think I’m built for this
And I don’t wanna stay
So go quit your day job
Cause you’ve got bills to pay
But if you think about it,
It doesn’t have to be this way
“Go quit your day job”
That’s the thing they’ll never say
Cause we all gotta eat
And we all gotta pay
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Flowerpot Records Ohio
A record label based out of Berea, Ohio, putting out CDs and tapes from artists around the country.
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