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1. |
Footnotes
03:14
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Crammed in the margin
Quite on the page
Often skimmed over and then forgotten
Some of us chapters
Some of us quoted at length
Some are whole novels
They punctuate
I sensed the smoke the page was burning
And still I chose to stay inside
You left the room your writing open
This is my story. I’ll never read it.
Throwaway husband looking for a life
To find redemption, I left my calling
Some kind of nightmare, the kind I couldn’t even write
This is my station. They all were right.
I saw the flame the house was falling
And still I tried to reach the other side
You left the room your words still burning
This is my story. This is my story
(Pick me up)
I saw the flame the house was falling
And still I tried to reach the other side
You left the room your words still burning
This is my story. This is my story
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2. |
Haunted No. 3
03:32
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Driving down to my dream
I’m haunted by the number three
There’s magic in your eyes, Babe
This haunting just won’t go away
You’re riding in my car now
I’m stinging and you’re all dolled up
But you ain’t the only doll… Are you?
Pulling in, I drop you off
So you can get lined up
At some ritzy boy’s ball
I volunteered the lift, see
Not aware of possibilities
A rich man’s double tryst, see
I’m haunted by what could be
Killing time, I drive around
Taking all the lakeside streets
Some cops, they get a whiff of me
See, they can smell what’s up, Babe
They feel it in the sultry air
Hoping that I fuck up
I know it’s only work, Babe
But you said you was having fun
I’ve been waiting like a jerk
I know I ain’t the only one
So treat me with respect, Babe
And mind that you keep telling lies
Because I don’t want to know, Babe
What happens on the other side
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3. |
Three Of Swords
05:26
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You can't really win
Because I'm already beat
You can't win
I was already beat
I guess there's only me now
Wandering with loss
All the worst nightmares
Have already been crossed
Thrice over and over, thrice over again
Out in the open when I wasn’t looking
Past the day of our commitment when I was locked in
And all the books and everything put away and mixed in
You can’t really see me because I’ve seen everything
Yeah, nothing really scares me because I’ve seen everything
I slept while the Devil clawed at our windowpane
I sat on the floor among the many you pleasured all the same
Thrice over and over like swords lodged in my heart
I’m falling from your tower that the storm tore apart
When a third time came around, I refused to grant the ride
I stayed behind, shut my eyes, and found a place to hide
You were feeling apathetic, so I went for a walk
I was looking for a parlour or a place that welcomed talk
I was haunted by an image and a need to purge my mind
So, I gave my left arm over and let him draw the line
Thrice over and over and over again
I watched the tiny needle puncture the skin
Was I making a commitment or just feeling the pain?
Was I making a reminder not to let it happen again?
Thrice over and over, three swords in my heart
I’ll be dancing up your tower that keeps crumbling apart
If a fourth time comes around, I won’t refuse the ride
But I guess I can’t be counted to stay inside
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4. |
Ghost Motel
00:50
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Do they know our dreaming?
Can they fathom as we pass?
One hundred kilometers an hour
Their darkened window a looking glass?
Do they hear our tender jest-words?
Hall orgy
Key party
Do our tongues further sodden their beds?
Their torn sheets and dangling rods shyly swinging
Or further the encroach of grass
Of roots pushing past
Between peelings, brick, and broken concrete?
Does our doppler-vroom laughter splinter your dreamless pill-sleep
As we wake-dream of colonial paints to covet your walls
Your vermi-eaten squalor sheets
And midnight trucker’s taint?
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5. |
Bedside Manner
05:34
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Bedside manner
That’s what’s keeping me
Bedside manner
While I’m slowly bleeding
See, you don’t speak to the sick that way
You take the lesser sickness and push it away
My illness never looks severe
It knows to hide but is always near
It hides inside my tightened chest
Or in the swelling throat that holds down the sick
It comes up in the lines I write
Or in the ways I wish I could fight
Oh, how I wish I could find them
Manifest this man-to-man
So all this pain can feel directed
So everything can feel corrected
Bedside manner
That’s what keeps me
Bedside manner
Hold you close while we bleed
I figured you were lovelorn
Clinging to your phone like a blanket
When you thought I wasn’t looking
And all the time I thought, “who was it?”
But it was time that got away
And all those pills you did not take
They laughed along the calendar days
Dancing on your body like a grave
Oh, how I wish I could have known
Or had the nerve to ask, “what’s going on?”
An enemy clear in my sight
Would tell me how, just how to fight
Bedside manner
Is all that kept me
Bedside manner
And all the time I’m bleeding
There’s so much more I need to say
About the restless march of calendar days
But my timing never seems to win
And my tired eyes can sense them coming
See, I’m still working through this mess
And those swords I pulled out of my chest
And though I’m trying to be my best
The wounds still smite and all the rest
But I think you still deserve to know
The harm done to my body
And the fear that rises in my throat
Every time you reach for your planner
Bedside manner
Is all that kept me
Bedside manner
And all the time I’m bleeding
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6. |
Canada Day
05:09
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It’s Canada day. So, hip, hip, hooray
It’s Canada day. So, hip, hip, hooray
I was finishing a song, giving you the space
To get ready on your own. You had the time and place
And the means to get back home
I thought I was taking a stand
The same gig two weeks before had me aimlessly cruising the lakeside
But it’s Canada day. So, hip, hip, hooray
It’s Canada day. So, hip, hip, hooray
We both got home without a trace
You changed your costume, washed your face
Ammunition tossed and hidden, so that I could keep my own deception
You walked the whole way home
You didn’t use your cane
We were both feeling good but on different planes
On Canada day. So, hip, hip, hooray
It’s Canada day. So, hip, hip, hooray
See, we had broken our own rules
Not to honour this contradiction
And to fuck this hang-up-holiday
And recoil from its celebration
But they wormed their way back in your dates
The first time somehow cheapened
When the honoured guest arrived to late
Starved for completion
On Canada day. So, hip, hip, hooray
On Canada day. So, hip, hip, hooray
See, I read something later on
When I wasn’t even trying
On some subject you had written on
Something trite and said in passing
But I just could not escape those words
Or the logical conclusion
And the images came flooding in
On Canada day
So, hip, hip, hooray
It’s Canada day.
Hip, hip, hooray
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7. |
Old Film
00:35
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Nude
Under blankets
We watched a film by the old master that had old actors
And old values and old tropes and old men
And was supposed to be about
Fidelity and class
But was really about
Dead hookers
The perils of imagination
The starkness of truth
And the allure of deception
And we both had feelings
So, I guess it worked
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8. |
Pieces
03:46
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You know you’re lost in something unreal when the artifice speaks
Louder than the person beside you who follows your lead
This is your world, reality calling, the dog’s at the gate
Oh, Lightning Tower, catastrophe’s calling
It’s time to leave this place
A consolation
A consolation by the hotel candlelight
You are made over
Following orders on a hot Friday night
The number one in the number thirteen is a shitty place
Don’t look at me. You know what I mean
It’s a shitty, shitty place
This all makes sense.
The pieces somehow all fit together
Your pleated skirt, your red-stained lips
Are you working it, Lover?
A consolation
A consolation we booked in advance
I made you over
You’re following orders
Was this a gift, by chance?
Position one in the number thirteen is a shitty place
Don’t look at me, I don’t want to see that wooden grin on your face
Position one in the number thirteen is a shitty place
It’s a shitty place
It’s a shitty place
It’s a shitty place
It’s a shitty place
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9. |
Late Spring
05:16
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The springtime came but late this year
Many will say it never happened
Our lives were tussled in the humid air
The lilacs already fallen
Sirens swirling like a hornet’s nest
The streets hot and violent
Our livelihoods put to the test
And so, I chose to stay silent
Our spring did come, but late, my dear
A rain soft and temperate
It cut the heat that fed my hate
A fool’s dream confronted
So, I drank freely from your lunar flower
And gave myself permission
To abandon my foolish tower
And sing to all my omissions:
An ode to your skin
Of flowered porcelain
To breezes cool and curtains thin
Of light that came back again
Some fools are only meant to dream
A few will realize them
Some fools might stumble upon the means
And use their wealth to buy them
And if I start to feel that taint
I should examine my thinking
I am the maker of my fate
I should be singing
I should be singing:
An ode to your skin
Of flowered porcelain
To breezes cool and curtains thin
Of light that came back again
Of reaching for the cup
That pours to fill me up
With nourishment after the trial
A gift from a child
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10. |
Bruises
04:01
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I let you settle down
To write your magazine
If you don’t understand
It’s because you don’t know what I mean
And it can take all night
Just to get me settled down
But it feels alright
You know I’ll come around
Because I’ve got my car
And I have the whole night
If we take our time
Then I’ll feel alright
I took you to the park
I couldn’t be myself
The bruises on my arm
They point me to the way
And it can take all night
Yes, I can take all night
Yes, I can take all night
I’ve got my car
Let me go all night
And if we take our time
You know I’ll be alright
You know I’ll be alright
You know I’ll be alright
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Flowerpot Records Ohio
A record label based out of Berea, Ohio, putting out CDs and tapes from artists around the country.
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